Common Myths about Paraphilias
Myth #1: People with paraphilias are mentally ill.
Paraphilias are not inherently distressing, impairing, or harmful! Not everyone with a paraphilia has a paraphilic disorder and “a paraphilia by itself does not necessarily justify or require clinical intervention."1
Myth #2: Paraphilias can/can’t be changed.
There is a lot of nuance to this myth that is often lost. People with paraphilias will likely always be aroused by their paraphilia, regardless if they want this or not.2 That being said, sexual interests can naturally shift in intensity and persistence over time.1, 2 It’s entirely possible for a paraphilia to wane until it’s no longer intense/persistent enough to be considered a paraphilia. Furthermore, any distress, impairment, or harmful behaviors associated with a paraphilia can be treated with the right resources and support.2
Myth #3: Sexual violence happens due to paraphilias.
Sexual violence is not about sexual interest. Many sex offenders have zero sexual interest in their victims. For example, the majority of men who sexually abuse other men actually identify as heterosexual.6 Sexual interest can play a part in abuse, but it is never the sole motivator.3, 4, 5, 6 The desire for power and control, as well as having discriminatory beliefs (like transphobia, homophobia, sexism, racism, etc.), are the key motivators of sexual violence, not paraphilias.3, 4, 5, 6
Myth #4: Having a paraphilia means that you condone or romanticize abuse.
People cannot control what arouses them. Arousal is a physiological reaction, not a choice. Paraphilias are not a choice. Someone’s thoughts and feelings will not tell you who they are as a person or the choices they will make. Just because some people have paraphilias involving abuse does not mean they will condone or romanticize real life abuse.
Myth #5: People with paraphilias are just abusers waiting to strike.
Once again, someone’s thoughts and feelings do not indicate who they are as a person or the choices they will make. Abuse is also not mediated by sexual interest. Many perpetrators of sexual abuse have zero sexual interest in their victims.Although there is not a single agreed upon cause of paraphilias, many researchers theorize that they are influenced by childhood experiences.1, 2 This is why many people with abuse-related paraphilias are abuse survivors, themselves. Please understand that abuse survivors are actually way more likely to be the victims of crimes than to be the perpetrators.7, 8
This is a particularly insidious myth because it misleads people on the actual signs of abuse. It also creates more stigma around an already heavily-stigmatized topic. Many people with paraphilic disorder are afraid to seek help due to the stigma. In cases where someone really is in danger of harming themself or others, myths like this can make them even less likely to seek help that can prevent abuse.
References
- https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787.x13_Sexual_Dysfunctions
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/paraphilias
- https://aasas.ca/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Fact-Sheet_Debunking-Popular-Misconceptions-About-Children-_-SA.pdf
- https://aasas.ca/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Fact-Sheet_Debunking-Popular-Misconceptions-About-SV.pdf
- https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2016.06.015
- https://aasas.ca/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Fact-Sheet_Debunking-Popular-Misconceptions-About-Men-_-SV.pdf
- https://theconversation.com/child-sex-abuse-survivors-are-five-times-more-likely-to-be-the-victims-of-sexual-assault-later-in-life-142384
- https://arstechnica.com/science/2015/03/childhood-abuse-victims-dont-always-grow-up-to-be-abusers/